And so it was with me... the failure and disappointment from dropping out of the training made it hard to think about running again. Once I moved to Texas, it was hard to get back into running. I didn't have my Columbia running community here. The summers are hotter. The training opportunities more limited. The excuses piled on, giving me every reason I needed to stay away from running.
But, the truth was that I missed it. I missed the feeling of finishing my first race and realizing that I could do what I once thought impossible. I missed the freedom of running my own pace and taking pride in new personal records, even if I wasn’t the first or the fastest. I missed the camaraderie of other runners who support & encourage each other along the way.
This past year, I decided to give running another chance. I recruited two friends to join the Waco Women’s Training Program with me. It was fun spending time with them and allowing myself to remember. I ran my first race since moving to Texas. I didn’t set any personal records, but I remembered what it was like to cross the finish line.
Later, I joined Waco Striders. I was again a part of a community of runners. I made new friends and discovered new places to run. I remembered the exhilaration of conquering hills and the adrenaline of finishing a race well. But, I still had this sense of failure hanging over me when I ran. Running is a mental activity, and I was still trapped with messages in my head on constant replay - You’re a failure, a disappointment. You’re a quitter. You’re the weakest link.
Then came another invitation, from another friend. We’re training for a half-marathon. Come join us! Really? I immediately discounted the notion. Been there. Done that. Failed miserably. But the thoughts continued to linger. Over the holidays, I kept rolling it around in my head. Am I crazy? Am I a glutton for punishment? I know the time & energy it takes. It was too much before. What makes me think I can do it now?
The challenge had been issued, though, and something in my soul wanted the chance to write a new story, wanted to discover again what is possible with training, focus, discipline, community. I wanted the chance to run the race well and to erase that sense of failure once and for all.
"See, I am doing a new thing!Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:19, NIV
Long story short, I’m signed up to run my first half-marathon, 13.1 miles, on April 4th, Easter weekend, 12 weeks away. What can I do in just 12 short weeks? I want to find out again. I want to be amazed again at what happens in a short amount of time, with planning & intentionality.
Please join me on this journey, as I share the struggles and successes, the friendships and the lessons learned, as I train and prepare for this goal. The challenge is not any less difficult or daunting than it was four years ago, but rather I find myself less intimidated by it and more eager to take it on.
Running is a spiritual journey for me as much as a physical one. As much I have experienced and lived with successes & failures in running, I have experienced them in life. And I find that God has much to teach me/us about how to run the race of life well in Christ and how to be trained in His righteousness. In Him, all things are possible, and in Him, He equips us for the work He has called us to do. I look forward to God teaching me in new ways how to run both races well.
“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” – 1 Timothy 4:8, NIV
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:12-14, NIV
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