A Modern Day Love Story - Eva Marie & Moyo

As I continue to seek God’s heart for marriage, I recently took the time to interview a godly couple (and two close friends) to ask about the story God has written in their lives. Eva Marie & Moyo have been married for a little over a year now. Their relationship is far from ordinary, as their relationship has spanned across two continents, two years, and vast cultural differences. Yet, their story is one that has the unique fingerprints of God, as He continues to draw them closer to Him and to each other. Below are some reflections from our conversation.

Single & Free - Life Before
For Moyo, singleness was not bad. He was relatively content being single, and while he desired to have a family, marriage was not always on his mind. As an introvert, he enjoys his own company and wasn’t sure if there was anyone for whom he would be a good fit. He knew he wanted someone heading in the same direction, pursuing God first.

For Eva Marie, singleness had its ups and downs. She loved the freedom of being single but craved the love & respect of a godly man. She attached singleness as not being good enough and struggled with insecurities of thinking anyone could love her and value her. Eventually, she felt God leading her to stop focusing on what she didn’t have (a husband) and to pursue Him wholehearted. From the time she was a teenager, she had kept a journal to her future husband reflecting on the things God had laid on her heart. Not knowing when or if God would bring someone that could meet those preferences, she learned to trust God to provide. She didn’t want to settle for anyone less than a man who deeply loved God and loved family.

For both of them, eHarmony was a way to be open to relationship and to seek out possibilities while continuing to pursue God in their singleness and wait on His timing. They eventually were matched together, and thus began the next chapter in their story.

Singled Out - Dating
Both Eva Marie & Moyo were prayerful each step during their relationship. Eva Marie describes Moyo as gently but intentionally pursuing her. He didn’t mince words and was very upfront about his faith, seeking to discover if Eva Marie was likeminded.

Communication seemed casual, as Eva Marie remained guarded but open. Eventually, she gave Moyo an extensive questionnaire, seeking out his heart for God and family and the things that were important to her. She admits through this process and his response that her heart began to change. “I felt like God was turning my heart toward him.” Her skepticism was beginning to move to a new level of trust and openness to what God may have in store for them.

Another turning point came when Moyo talked to her father to ask for his blessing & permission to date his daughter. The conversation won over Eva Marie’s dad, and more of Eva Marie’s heart. When Moyo was able to win her father’s approval, Eva Marie sensed again that this was from God and that God was in this relationship.

Months later, Moyo would propose to Eva Marie, and she would say yes. That night, Eva Marie remembers waking up in tears, overwhelmed with God’s love and Moyo’s. She was led to a special time of worship, praising God and thanking Him for providing a godly man and a loving husband for her, a long-awaited answer to her teenage prayers.

Single No More - Marriage & Growth
Eva Marie & Moyo recently celebrated a year of marriage. They have many stories to tell of their joys & challenges together. Most important, though, is their commitment to making God the foundation of their marriage – praying, going to church together, worshipping together. They say at times it seems like “it was meant to be” but they quickly set aside that romantic notion to say that they know it has been God that has brought them together. Their future is guaranteed, not because they have it figured out or because they are perfect; their future is guaranteed because they know God is present and at work in their relationship.

Eva Marie tells the story of one particularly bad day when they were hardly speaking to each other. They went out to eat anyway but remained aloof and distant. That day, they were recipients of a random act of kindness, as another couple they didn’t know in the restaurant paid for their meal commenting that God had led them specifically to bless Eva Marie & Moyo. Here was this couple that was hardly speaking, and God had reached out to them in a special way, getting their attention and challenging the way they were treating each other.

Eva Marie says it was a necessary adjustment for her. As the emotional one in the relationship, she said God began to change her heart to recognize the importance of treating each other well, even when they disagreed. For her, she wanted Moyo to know how much she valued him and his worth, well beyond the things & issues that sometimes get in the way. She says now she responds differently, learning that she doesn’t always have to like Moyo or agree with him. Even in those moments, though, she can choose to love him and honor him. “It’s not that I am a different person, but rather a better version of myself.”

During those tough moments, they have found it freeing to know they don’t have to like each other all the time or that every day doesn’t have to be all roses. Even in those moments, they are called to love and respect and honor each other. When those tough patches come, she remains committed to him, and he remains committed to her. They have found both the good and the bad draw them closer to God and to each other as they learn how to love each other more deeply.

The moral of their story for others is simply that God is faithful. God is faithful to honor the godly desires of a teenage girl and to overcome the fears of a self-acclaimed introvert. He is faithful and has been through their dating relationship and now through their marriage.

Eva Marie captures this theme beautifully in this song she wrote for Moyo:


How does Eva Marie & Moyo's story encourage you? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Want to share your story? Let me know. I would love to capture the story God is writing in your life, single or married.

Confessions of a Not-So-Young Professional

At what age, do you have to stop referring to yourself as a young professional? 30? 35? 40? I'm part of the Waco "Young Professionals" and my Sunday school class is named the "Young Professionals." Do these titles still fit me? I turned 35 in October, and I realized that I had to check a whole new demographic box on surveys. I was no longer 25–34. Now, I was 35-50. Ugh! That has an older feel to it. It has the feel of being middle aged, no longer young, and not quite old, but perfectly in the middle.

And that might be perfect, if I was married and had a family, settled in my career and had a house and all those things that just seem like they come from being middle aged and settled. But I still live in an apartment, I still struggle at work sometimes, and yes, I am still single. It doesn’t seem all so perfect at all, well maybe perfectly mediocre.

Over the last couple of months, I have been in a rut, spiritually and emotionally. I have found myself going through the motions wondering what happened to that sense of purpose and ministry I used to feel. What happened to the energy to put in the long hours and to invest in the lives of others? What happened to the commitment to spend quality time in prayer and Bible study? What happened to the sense of awe and worship, the freshness of God working in my life and the lives of others? I feel like I woke up one morning and found myself in a desert place, exhausted and worn out from a long journey, and feeling like I am on a hamster wheel, going & going, but not getting anywhere.

I don’t want mediocre, though. I’m not content with being exhausted and worn out, with losing that sense of purpose and focus. My life isn’t perfect; 35 may not be perfect. And that’s okay. I don’t think God is done writing that story. But, even now, in this desert place, I don’t want my life to be mediocre. Christ came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. I want that kind of life in Him. Even in the desert, I want His manna, to be aware of His presence and His provision. But I want more than the desert too – I want to soak in His goodness, like an oasis, to discover that freshness again in my walk with Him. I want to rekindle that sense of awe and majesty, to see Him at work in my life and in the lives of others. I want to know Him more, to serve Him more, to learn more of His love, to reflect more of His character. I want there to be more to the story than there is right now. I want this to be the middle of the story, and maybe even the beginning of a new chapter.

Here are some scriptures I'm pondering:

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. Revelation 2:4-5, NIV

I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; hold it fast, and repent. Revelation 3:1b-3a, NIV

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. – 1 Peter 5:10, NIV

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. – Philippians 1:4-6, NIV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. – John 10:10, NIV

For Better & For Worse

Several people have asked me since I started this journey, if the marriage feast is the launch of some super-search for a spouse or a prayerful fast for a spouse. And the answer to both is no. In fact, if I was dating anyone right now or clearly headed in that direction, I am fairly certain I would not have the guts to do this. (I already feel uber-vulnerable taking this on, and especially sharing it publicly.)

Over the last couple of years, I have learned to trust God more with my dating life, and while not perfect by any means, I have been much more intentional and prayerful about the dating relationships I have been in. I’ve been fortunate to date some high quality godly men. Even in those good relationships, though, I had some kind of block toward marriage. I want to get married, at least I think I want to get married. But I am also really okay being single. God has blessed me with ministry opportunities and close community, with pieces of my life that would look very different if I was married. I value my singleness. And sometimes I have valued it more than the possibility of marriage. And here’s the part I need to be honest about, sometimes I have even devalued marriage, not because of what God intended for it to be, but because of the brokenness and the pain from marriages that all too often fail to live up to that ideal.

For me, this journey is not so much about whether or not I want to get married or will get married. I want to go through this journey to look at marriage again from God’s perspective, to see it as a celebration of His love and goodness , a picture of His redemption and grace, a glimpse of His glory, apart from the distorted view of brokenness and sin. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by all…” This journey for me is about honoring marriage more, not valuing singleness less. (Read 1 Corinthians 7 for more on valuing both.) The last thing I want to do is feed discontentment in my life. I want God’s best for me, whether single or married. And I want to honor the institution of marriage and family that He created.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.” – Mark 10:7-9.

Sometimes that God-envisioned marriage is very different from the brokenness & pain of earthly marriages. We’re all broken, but how do we move beyond the brokenness we see, especially broken relationships and failed marriages? How do we allow Christ to heal our hearts & transform our lives? How do we view marriage again the way God sees it - through the lens of His restoration & redemptive work?

My plan for next week is to look at stories that have shaped my understanding of marriage, for better and for worse, to acknowledge some of the raw brokenness, but also to celebrate the radical good. I hope you’ll read along, whether single or married, and find hope and encouragement yourself.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and feedback along the way.

Additional Resources:
The Bachelor Pastor: Premarital reflections on singleness, purity, and ministry
For a great clip on valuing singleness in ministry and as a gift from God, check out this clip from Pastor Steve DeWitt from Bethel Church in Indianapolis. He is a 44 year old senior pastor, who recently married for the first time. This clip is his last sermon as a single pastor and offers his reflections on singleness, ministry, & purity.