An Invitation to Dance: From Wow to Who

When I first met M, he was just another new guy in our life group. He tells the story about how I pawned him off on others in our group and sent him to have lunch with strangers. The truth is we were all strangers at that point, and I didn’t want to leave him completely stranded. Then he disappeared for awhile and then he reappeared, and then he started coming around more regularly. We had an occasional conversation from time to time, nothing particularly noteworthy. I remember, though, a couple of wow moments, comments or observations that caught my attention, moments that likely went unnoticed by others but things that I noticed, things that piqued my interest, things that reflected a tender heart and a strong character, things that made me want to know more of who this guy was. The wow led to a desire to know the who.

It reminds me of Ruth in the Bible who found herself working the fields belonging to Boaz. And something about her caught his attention. And so he asked, “Whose young woman is that?” Something about the way she carried herself, and then her reputation as one of noble character, one who had left everything to return to Israel with her mother-in-law, something about her caught his attention. There were some wow moments there, and the wow led to a desire to know the who. And so Boaz invites her to feast with the workers. He invites her into his favor and his protection, and ultimately into relationship with him as her kinsman-redeemer. (See the book of Ruth for the full WOW story.)

It also reminds me of the great WOW story in my life. As many of you know, I grew up in church and spoke Christianese like a second language. But it was only when I was 25 that I experienced the Wow factor, the transforming love of Christ in my life. It was a time when I felt like I was a failure, a time when I was confronted with things I didn’t like about myself, a time when I desperately needed to be loved, a time when I was convinced I didn’t deserve it. Enter grace, and a dear pastor who one day grabbed my arm. Without any premeditated intent or any hesitation whatsoever, he spoke the words I most needed to hear, “I still love you.” Powerful words. Enter God. And a radio that played the song “When God Ran” in which the chorus echoes the same refrain over and over, “Do you know I still love you?” Transforming words, life-changing truth. Wow! That’s the Gospel, the GOOD news, that “God demonstrates His love for us in this, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” When we were at our worst, when we are at our worst, God still loves us, and He lives that out tangibly through the cross, through new life, abundant life, eternal life in Him. WOW! If He can love me like that, I want to know Him, to walk with Him, to be in relationship with Him all of my days. The Wow always brings us to the Who, it gives us a desire to know Him and to be known by Him, to experience the fullness of His love and His grace, to be in relationship with the One who created us for relationship with Him, the One who invites us to dance in His presence and to enjoy Him forever. WOW! My life has never been the same.

Learning to Dance, Intro Part 2

As I planned out this series of reflections on learning to dance, I had in my mind to capture the journey of walking with God in relationship, learning to dance to the music He is playing as He calls Michael & I deeper into relationship with Him and with each other.

There is probably much I could share about the journey, about the excitement of getting to know him and the messiness of learning to share life together, about his character or our story. What I have in mind, though, is not a play-by-play of our relationship, but rather a focused look at who God is and how He reveals Himself in relationship. As I pondered the best way to do that, I decided to reflect on four particular themes:

• An Invitation to Dance: From Wow to Who
• Becoming a Good Partner: Who am I in Relationship
• Listening to the Music: Syncing Up with God
• Developing Rhythm & Grace : Syncing Up with Each Other

As I reflect on each of these themes, I want to focus on God’s truth and His love, His desire for relationship with us and the opportunity He gives us to dance to the music He is playing. I hope you will join me in the journey. Whether dancing solo or as a couple, I hope it will be a time to join Him in the adventure of discovering anew the beauty and the rhythm of a life in sync with Him.

~E

Learning to Dance

One of my friends loves swing dancing. She tells me, for her, dancing is apt metaphor for dating relationships – moving in sync together, connecting both physically and emotionally with the music and with each other. I don’t usually enjoy dancing, so the metaphor was somewhat lost on me until the last couple of months when I found myself in a new relationship with a guy who loves to dance.

Since then, what I’ve discovered is that all of those things are true; the metaphor works on many levels. Both dancing and relationships require a deep level of compatibility & trust, a healthy dose of chemistry, lots of practice, and even a good deal of fun. As this new guy in my life has been patiently teaching me how to two-step, God has been patiently teaching me about relationship, about how to be in relationship, about how to dance with another to a new song.

And so, I want to capture the journey of what God is doing in my life as we seek His will together for our future and as we learn to dance together to the beautiful song that God is writing in our lives. I hope you will join me for this series of reflections on lessons learned and reminders about the God who loves, the God who heals, the God who provides, and, yes, the God who writes beautiful songs.

Please pray for me (and for us). I’ve danced before, mind you. But I’ve long considered myself rhythmically challenged. It requires a lot of effort and commitment to get me onto the dance floor and even more to enjoy myself in the process. It’s harder than it looks, but it’s worth the work. He’s worth the work, and it’s pretty amazing to get to dance together to the music. :)

Dancing to the Music

Some people are tone deaf; I am rhythm-deaf. I have an incredibly hard time feeling the music. I have always loved music, but it never comes naturally to me. I can read notes on a page but can’t seem to feel music the way others can. I think this is why I struggle so much with dancing. People say just listen to the music – I listen, but I am more apt to sing than I am to figure out how to move with it.

But last week, I was feeling extra adventurous and decided to go swing dancing with some friends. It was something very much out of my comfort zone, which is part of what attracted me to it. And since I knew I was with people I enjoy being around, I knew I would have fun even if this dancing thing didn’t turn out so well.

And so, I was introduced to the world of swing dancing. And it started off rough. After a very short beginner lesson, I was still nowhere near comfortable with the steps and pretty overwhelmed with the feeling of not being able to “get” it. There were several gracious guys that were patient enough to “lead” and help me figure it out, and then there were those I could tell I obviously frustrated by getting so out of sync. Ugh!

As the night went on though, I started thinking about this experience. I am ultra-independent. I prefer and need high levels of autonomy in just about everything I do. And dancing bucks that trend. I need a partner, and I need to follow my partner. I am used to taking the lead. It is very different to take my cues from someone else, to really listen as they communicate nonverbally with me and to learn to trust their moves.

I know I need more practice with those skills – when it comes to dancing and when it comes to life. Just like with music, it doesn’t come naturally for me to slow down and get in sync with others. I am a people-person. I thrive on relationships. But when it comes to projects and work, I prefer to leave others behind and do my own thing – not in a malicious or indifferent kind of way, but rather with a sense of getting things done in the most efficient way possible. Way too often, I find myself marching to my own drummer (and off-rhythm) instead of working to get in sync with those around me.

I learned the hard way that it is disastrous on the dance floor to get out of sync. One can go flying, or trip, or clash with your partner if you move in the wrong direction or miss a step. The success of the dance requires that both partners be in sync the whole time, reading each other’s cues and moving together with the music. There is something beautiful, though, about seeing two people move together when they “get” it, to sense the chemistry and synergy of the couple as they float effortlessly across the floor.

I sense there might be something beautiful about finding ways to work with others, of learning that trust, and not having to “lead” all the time. There might be something worthwhile about slowing down and picking up the cues of those around me that might help me avoid disaster and flops. I wonder what it would be like to have that kind of chemistry and synergy on and off the dance floor.

Hmmm… I sense I have only scratched the surface. I still have much to learn here. Maybe some more dance lessons are in order?