Day 5 - A Settled Future

1 Peter 5:10

I feel sad. I don’t know if I am ready to shake the dust off and close the door with finality. I haven't been ready to close that door yet. I need to, but I guess I still struggle with saying my final goodbye to that chapter in my life.

The last few weeks have been very unsettling, and honestly, they are just a small part of a much larger unsettled feeling in my life. Over the past five years, I have moved four times, been through several major job changes, gone back to graduate school, which was a huge transition in itself, and really created an upheaval in my life from who I was before. Change is not necessarily a bad thing, but I have had a lot of it over the last several years. And my life is getting ready to change again, in May, after I graduate. I’m not really sure what changes that will bring about, but I know I am excited about having free nights and weekends and the ability to get back involved in ministry.

Really, I yearn to be settled, to be in a place for more than a year, to have roots in the community, at church, at work. I want to know what it is like to have some stability, without getting bored and without getting complacent, but having some sense of being established. Some of my friends here in Columbia have been here for many years, and sometimes I’m jealous of that sense of shared history they have with others, walking through different life changes together, seeing each other grow, and helping each other. I crave that sometimes, and sometimes it seems so far from where I have been and where I am right now.

This verse in 1 Peter is one of my life verses. I cling to it in moments like this, when I feel unsettled, because it says that God has a plan, and He will ESTABLISH us, STRENGTHEN us, and SETTLE us. On the other side of the suffering and hardships and changes of life, God will bring us to a settled place in Him. I love that.

It reminds me of Abraham who set out on a journey to an unknown destination, and God led him through to bring him to a good and prosperous land that would be his for generations. Sometimes I feel like I am wandering aimlessly, taking my best guess at where God is leading, and trying to follow His path, but the truth is I have a hard time seeing the final destination. I have a hard time seeing where He is leading and which path I should choose. Instead, I have to trust Him day by day to show me the next steps along the way, seeking His wisdom and His guidance as I make decisions that can take me further on that journey and lead me to that place of peace and settledness in Him.