I’ve been fortunate to be in some good relationships, even with solid Christian guys with good hearts, guys that at the end of the day I could say even though the relationship didn’t work out, I was glad to have had them in my life. But I’m learning that finding a good guy isn’t enough; finding that rare combination of Godly character, compatibility, and chemistry is not enough; praying and seeking God’s will strangely is not enough. That something is missing, something that is challenging the whole way I think about dating.
The verse that is on my mind today is Psalm 127:1 - “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” That’s it…. Sometimes, often times, I go into a relationship thinking about what I need to do and who I need to be. I think about a checklist of priorities or traits that I’m looking for in someone and then I think about how I can make it work, even when things get tough. But what God is showing me is that I can’t build the relationship. Even me and the other person, the two of us together can’t build that relationship into what it needs to be, even if we clothe it in prayer and godly intentions. God has to not only be in the relationship, He has to build the relationship – His way, in His timing, and according to His will.
I have had times where I really thought God was in it, where both me and the guy were truly seeking God’s will. Now, though, I can look back at some of those relationships and see that God wasn’t writing the script; we were writing it, according to what we thought was His will and then prayerfully submitting it for His approval.
Honestly, I don’t know what it looks like to let God write the script in my relationships, anymore than I know what it looks like to let Him write the script for my life. So many times I come with my desires, my requests and submit them for His approval instead of seeking Him, knowing Him, gaining clarity into the direction He wants me to head. He cares about me. He wants me to have abundant life in Him, so why can I not trust Him to lead me to His best? (Psalm 23) Why do I try to pick up a pen, when He has already written a beautiful story for my life, better than anything I could think or imagine? (Jeremiah 29:11)
Erin: I am enjoying reading your entries. :) You are a very good writer. I can tell God is really speaking to you and you are listening. I am very glad you are sharing. It's blessing me. Love, Amber
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to listen but sometimes I am a stubborn student. :) Thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteErin, this passage speaks so much to me. It is so much easier to narrow our focus on this truth that God has to initiate a relationship; first with the gentleman, then with us. All we have to do is with each opportunity that comes our way~ we just surrender it to the Lord over and over and over, until He gives us His complete will and confirmation and blessing. I believe if we truly want to have God's will in this area, we must first, let God decide if it is His will for us to marry, then let Him chose the person and finally wait PATIENTLY for His perfect timing. Personally, the only reason I feel it is OK for me to marry is if it furthers my personal ministry and purpose in life. From what I hear, marriage is tough stuff and not for the weak at heart, and in today's world, you definently have to have God on your side or it is going to be hard to keep it together. I believe if it God's will, He will provide the grace and strength and everything else to make it work. And if it is God's will today, it will be God's will tomorrow and the next day, so you don't need to rush into anything. Test it over time. And as you say, "Let the Lord build the house." With luv, joie
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