Fifty days ago, I began a journey to intentionally seek God’s will in my life in the area of relationships. I was heartbroken and hurting, in need of God’s healing, His peace, His restoration in my life. I wanted to know His heart, His love, His desires and also how to live those out in integrity not just with dating relationships, but with family, friends, co-workers, everyone in my circle of life.
I started with a list of passages and themes, but I didn’t really know where He would lead. Maybe I thought I would end up justified, that I was right or had the right answers. That’s a laugh, for sure, as seeking God is always a humbling experience reminding me that He is God and I am not.
Instead I found God challenging me, challenging my thoughts about what it means to love, how to make intentional decisions, how to trust Him to write the script in my life. Even more so, I found Him asking me to be content where I am, focusing single-mindedly on Him, even while in the midst of pursuing His will and His plans for the future. I found Him reminding me that is He is the great healer, the One who can do abundantly more than we could think or imagine, the One whose ways are much higher than our ways, and the One that can redeem any kind of painful circumstance in our lives and bring radical good out of it for His glory and to accomplish His purposes.
I am thankful for the truths of His word, that the Bible isn’t just empty words on a page, but words that speak directly to my life, to my needs and my questions and my crises. I am thankful it always points me to God who is in complete control and who cares intimately about me and about each of us.
I’ve had several people ask me about what is next. And the truth is I don’t have that answer either. But as I seek to apply these truths in my life, I am trusting God to give me wisdom to make the right decisions about dating and to both guide and guard my heart as I try to live those truths out with integrity.
Psalm 147:11 says “The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.” Going forward, I want Him to be able to delight in my life, and I want to be able to put my hope in His love, a love that never fails. I certainly do not think I am there yet, but I know the journey of getting there is incredibly worth it.
Thank you for being a part of this chapter of my life and for encouraging me in this journey. It has been cool to have conversations with old friends and new through this process, reflecting, connecting, and even sometimes disagreeing over my thoughts. It is great to share life together with others.
May God bless…
erin
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