Mother in Laws & Religion

Chapter 1 of the Ruth Saga continues... Today, we read about Naomi asking Ruth & Orpah, her two widowed daughter in laws, to return and go back to Moab. Indulge me in a picture of how this scene may have transpired, in a completely fictionalized scenario. We don’t know much about what actually happened from scripture, but just imagine what it might look like today. Imagine…

Imagine getting married to someone of a different faith, knowing the parents likely will not approve. (The Moabites were enemies of the Israelites… A Moabite probably was not the spouse Naomi wished for either of her sons.) Imagine getting married anyway and just learning to deal with the topic of religion when it comes up with his family. Maybe it’s just easier to pretend to believe the same things, to worship the same God, to silence the talk of all those “differences.” Or maybe you and your spouse compromise – choose to worship together, one week with his God, the other week with your gods. Maybe you enjoy learning more about his religion, his beliefs, his people, their culture, their faith. Maybe it’s intriguing, even if it is different from the ways you were taught, the gods that you serve, the beliefs of your people. Or maybe you just want your mother-in-law to stop holding your faith against you. Maybe you just want to get along and not replay the same faith argument over and over.

Imagine, now, that it’s several years after you got married. Your father-in-law dies, and then you husband dies. You still have a relationship with your mother-in-law, but now it’s not the same. You are both grieving. You both are facing lonely and impoverished lives as heir-less widows. But now, you don’t have to get along. You don’t have to pretend anymore to like her faith or her people, her culture. Your husband isn’t there to urge the two of you to play nice and get along. He isn’t there to mitigate the faith conversation and now you don’t have to care or explain or bother with the differences. Now you are free to worship as you please. And, your mother-in-law is preparing to return to her country. You start to go along, because you think you should. You don’t want to leave her and hear her complain again about how horrible her life is and how she has been abandoned by everyone, even God, and now even you. You just aren’t in the mood to hear her complain, so you take the path of least resistance which is to just join her. You might stay for awhile and then come up with an excuse later or a family “emergency” to turn back.

And then, wonder of all wonders, your mother-in-law gives you a way out. She brings up going back. She urges you to go back. It catches you off guard. You can’t believe she is being this nice, that she understands, that she gets it. She does see that all your hopes of getting remarried lie in your hometown, not in her land, with her people. Ah, this is the best gift she could give you, a guilt-free option to return home….

Now I realize this is a fictionalized account based on my imagination of this scene. But doesn’t it put this story in perspective a little bit? Could you imagine being in an inter-faith marriage, a marriage attached with a great deal of stigma, and then choosing to return with your mother-in-law?

It really defies reason. I completely understand Orpah turning back in the story (Ruth 1:14). But, Ruth stays. Three times, Naomi gives her a way out, and three times Ruth chooses to stay. Why? In verse 15 Naomi makes her final plea, “Look, your sister in law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her” (v15). Now, don’t you think this is typical mother-in-law behavior, bringing up the touchy subject of religion here? In our fictionalized account, this is your mother in law saying, I am on to you. You don’t have to pretend anymore to like my God. I know you were playing nice for your husband’s sake. I’m not going to try to win you over anymore to our beliefs. You are free to worship as you choose. Let’s not fight anymore and just go our separate ways.

So, here is the amazing part – Ruth wasn’t pretending. Somewhere along the way, her beliefs changed. Somewhere along the way, she turns her back on her culture and her people in lieu of something better. She boldly professes to Naomi – No, “Your people will be my people and your God, my God” (v16). Why? She worshipped many gods. She could have just added the God of Israel as one of her many gods. She could have went with Naomi without converting to her faith – after all, she had lived as a Moabite for years without converting to her husband’s faith.

Why? I am left wondering the why. I don’t have the clear answer from scripture, but speculating again, I suspect that something got her attention. Maybe she had heard of God’s blessing on the Israelites and His covenant with them. Maybe she had heard rumors of the Promised Land. In her statement to Naomi, though, she personalizes God, my God. So I think she had experienced Him personally in some way, through her relationship with her husband or Naomi. I suspect their love for her echoed God’s love. I imagine she saw something in them, even through the family tragedies that spoke of a peace or comfort that her gods couldn’t provide. Maybe they left her craving to know more and willing to continue on the journey with her mother-in-law, willing to choose to follow this other God and experience Him for herself.

As I ponder this story, I am left with some haunting questions, and I pose them to you as well – Do we echo God’s love for others? Is there something about our lives that leaves others craving to know God more? Are there times we go through the motions with faith, pretending to go along with the beliefs of others or unsure of what we believe? Or do we personalize our relationship with Him and choose Him over all the other false gods and distractions around?
Thank you for reading and for sharing this part of Ruth’s journey with me. Stay tuned for more, the saga is just beginning.