For those of you who don’t know, I am currently doing a Beth Moore Bible study on David. This study is so rich and has prompted my thinking in so many ways about what it meant for David to be a man after God’s own heart and what it means to me to be a woman after God’s own heart.
Today’s passage (1 Samuel 22: 1-5) finds David running for his life from King Saul. David ends up in a dark and lonely cave. While there, David pours out his heart to God. His words are recorded in Psalm 142. Listen to some of his authentic prayer:
“I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him; before Him, I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way… I cry to you, O Lord, I say, You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living. Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me” (Psalm 142:1-3a, 5-6).
David here is young and afraid, leaving home behind, surrounded by discontents and people with their own problems. David appears to be at his wit’s end, maybe literally (see 1 Sam 21). But it is here that he opens his soul up to God, that he prays for refuge and safety, for a sense of God’s presence with him.
I love that we can come to God authentically like that, when we don’t know the answers, when we don’t know what to do, when we are weak and afraid and struggling to make sense of God’s will for our lives. David has been anointed king. He could never have imagined that great call would start out by running for his life from the existing king. He doesn’t know how God is going to work. He doesn’t know what is going to happen. So he does the only thing he knows to do – seek God. In 1 Samuel 22:3, David says that he needs to learn what God will do on his behalf.
Lately, in particular, I have been burdened so much for my grandmother and my family, hurting for them and with them, as my grandmother’s health deteriorates. It is physically and emotionally exhausting for all of us, even for me being far away. But Sunday as I came back in from church, I just sat down and prayed and poured my heart to God. Like David, I had felt completely overwhelmed, in need of refuge and peace.
It was so wonderful to be able to come before my Father, to let Him know my cares, to give Him my hurts and my fears, the questions and the anxiety. And as I laid it down at His feet, I sensed His presence and His peace all over again. I was reminded of His great love for us and His great provision. You see, He cares. In the midst of whatever is going on in our lives, He cares. He is Emmanuel, “God with us” – He knows our tears and our fears, our desires and our hopes. And He walks through it all with us.
I can't help but think that it in times like those, when we come to Him just as we are, seeking refuge in Him, that He reveals more of His heart to us, and more of His heart with us.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” - 1 Peter 5:7
“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
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