Confessions of a Not-So-Young Professional

At what age, do you have to stop referring to yourself as a young professional? 30? 35? 40? I'm part of the Waco "Young Professionals" and my Sunday school class is named the "Young Professionals." Do these titles still fit me? I turned 35 in October, and I realized that I had to check a whole new demographic box on surveys. I was no longer 25–34. Now, I was 35-50. Ugh! That has an older feel to it. It has the feel of being middle aged, no longer young, and not quite old, but perfectly in the middle.

And that might be perfect, if I was married and had a family, settled in my career and had a house and all those things that just seem like they come from being middle aged and settled. But I still live in an apartment, I still struggle at work sometimes, and yes, I am still single. It doesn’t seem all so perfect at all, well maybe perfectly mediocre.

Over the last couple of months, I have been in a rut, spiritually and emotionally. I have found myself going through the motions wondering what happened to that sense of purpose and ministry I used to feel. What happened to the energy to put in the long hours and to invest in the lives of others? What happened to the commitment to spend quality time in prayer and Bible study? What happened to the sense of awe and worship, the freshness of God working in my life and the lives of others? I feel like I woke up one morning and found myself in a desert place, exhausted and worn out from a long journey, and feeling like I am on a hamster wheel, going & going, but not getting anywhere.

I don’t want mediocre, though. I’m not content with being exhausted and worn out, with losing that sense of purpose and focus. My life isn’t perfect; 35 may not be perfect. And that’s okay. I don’t think God is done writing that story. But, even now, in this desert place, I don’t want my life to be mediocre. Christ came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. I want that kind of life in Him. Even in the desert, I want His manna, to be aware of His presence and His provision. But I want more than the desert too – I want to soak in His goodness, like an oasis, to discover that freshness again in my walk with Him. I want to rekindle that sense of awe and majesty, to see Him at work in my life and in the lives of others. I want to know Him more, to serve Him more, to learn more of His love, to reflect more of His character. I want there to be more to the story than there is right now. I want this to be the middle of the story, and maybe even the beginning of a new chapter.

Here are some scriptures I'm pondering:

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. Revelation 2:4-5, NIV

I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; hold it fast, and repent. Revelation 3:1b-3a, NIV

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. – 1 Peter 5:10, NIV

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. – Philippians 1:4-6, NIV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. – John 10:10, NIV