Sunday, February 9, 2014

Confessions of a Not So Young Professional, Part 2: How the Prayer of Jabez Missed the Mark for Me

I posted several weeks ago some of my confessions as a not so young professional, wanting more out of life than the reality of 35. As I have been seeking more of God, I started to realize part of the problem. I juggle work, teaching on top of work, life group, Bible study, friends, writing, the gym if I’m lucky, and maybe some fun. I find myself juggling more and more and finding less and less time for rest, for worship, to hear the voice of God over the distractions of life. Simply put, I am tired & depleted! How do people have families again?

I was contemplating today the Prayer of Jabez - “Jabez cried out to the Lord, ‘Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me and keep me from harm that I may be free from pain.’ And God granted his request.” (1 Chronicles 4:10, NIV).

It’s a popular prayer, turned into a popular book. Oh, how I prayed that prayer, how I wanted God’s blessing in my life, how I wanted Him to be able to trust me with more. I wanted to take on leadership roles and use my gifts for the kingdom. I wanted to excel and work and gain more responsibility. I wanted more on my plate, to be busy for God, to be doing ministry and loving others and serving well. I wanted to show how much I loved God and how much I could do with my gifts and abilities. I wanted to be a great person and a great Christian and a great professional. I wanted greatness and achievement and success.

Do you see it? Even as I write the above words, I see it clearly, more clearly than I have in a long time. I thought I had to keep doing more and more to please God. I thought larger territory would be a great thing – that I could keep juggling more and more and that I could handle it all. I thought it was all about me and my abilities. I wanted greatness and achievement for myself more than for God. But God has blessed me, and I find myself doing more and more. But instead of serving Him or loving Him or worshipping Him, I find myself too tired to pray, too busy to minister effectively or to love deeply; I find myself so distracted by everyone’s expectations that I sometimes miss the only One whose expectations matter.

I think of the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25. Sometimes, I want to be the guy with 2 talents. He has some. He doesn’t have as much as the guy with 5. He’s faithful, though, with what he has been given. Sometimes, I wish I had less on my plate, but that I was more faithful with it. I wish I did less and spent more time giving of myself. I wish I didn’t have so much to juggle, that I couldn’t at times set down the balls and revel in who God is.

Maybe the Prayer of Jabez was a good prayer for him. Maybe God was honored in that prayer and in the desires of his heart. I don’t think it’s the right prayer for me, though. Instead of enlarging my territory, I pray that God would enable me to cultivate the territory I already have, to take time to water the seeds He has planted, and to bear fruit where I am. I want to pursue more and more of Him, not more and more for me. I want to enjoy the beauty of the scenery in which He has placed me, to soak in His abundant blessings, all the while tilling the fields and faithfully serving. I want to use my gifts for His glory, and it doesn’t have to be for some grand cause. It can be in investing in the lives of my students or writing this small little blog that encourages someone else. It can be in inviting someone over for dinner or reaching out to someone who is hurting. I want to have time for those things and energy for those things, without worrying about the never-ending to-do list, the long list of appointments, the huge burden of responsibility upon responsibility of things I don’t necessarily feel called to do.

Here are some verses I’m meditating on this week:
“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)

“‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and distracted about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10: 41-42, NIV)

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness.” (Matthew 25:23, NIV)

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor with God and a good name in the sight of God and man.” (Proverbs 3:3-4, NIV)

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40: 28-31, NIV)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." (Colossians 3:23, NIV)

Photo source: Stampin' Up design by someone more creative & talented than me.

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