Shortly thereafter, I remember sharing my new commitment with a friend. Instead of sharing my excitement, he became outraged. 30 days? He looked me in the eyes and told me that he had prayed for YEARS for his parents to get back together, prayed for healing from the ravage of divorce in his family’s life. Where was God in that? Why did God not answer those prayers?
Stunned, I had no answers, good answers. I had heard some of the common sayings people in church like to say to make others “feel better” – just keep praying, pray harder, get right with God, God will give you the desires of your heart. Sayings all too reminiscent of Job’s friends who all thought they had the answer to Job’s suffering, that they knew what needed to happen to make things right for healing to occur. (See Job 3-36). I knew enough to know those answers were insufficient, as well as callous and insensitive. They were not what my friend needed to hear. I wanted to offer him something more. I wanted words of healing and comfort, but none came. Just silence, awkward silence.
I never forgot that sense of hurt and disillusionment in my friend’s eyes and in his words. Maybe you have been there, I have, when the answers do not come, and you start to wonder if God is there, if He really cares – waiting for healing that never comes, suffering through disease or burdens or loss. I know of many friends praying for husbands or children or settledness in work, praying for restored relationships with family and friends. There are many of us grieving broken hearts, broken lives, broken families, broken communities, and many of us have prayed fervently for God’s healing. We cry out for God to fix it. It is the yearning of our hearts to be made whole in Him, and yet sometimes all we have are broken pieces and silence, awkward silence.
Where is God in the midst of brokenness and suffering? Where is God in the midst of seemingly unanswered prayers? I have learned a lot about the inadequacy of false answers to those questions. When I am suffering, I do not want cliches or empty reassurances. Many times we do not know the reasons for our suffering or how long it will last, and we question if/how God can work it out for good.
One of my life verses is 1 Peter 5:10 – "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."
I love this verse because it is a message of hope - of a time when the suffering is over, and God has brought us to a place of restoration and settledness in Him. But I struggle with it, too, because it assumes suffering is part of the equation. It does not qualify how long we must suffer. It doesn’t say all will be made right here and now. It says there is a future when all will be made right - when God will wipe away our tears (Revelation 21:4) once and for all.
In the meantime, as we are in the midst of brokenness and suffering, here are some other truths that have encouraged me:
- God is control (1 Chronicles 29:11-13).
- He cares (Matthew 10:29-31).
- He hears our cries (Exodus 2:23-25).
- He cries with us (John 11:35).
- He has struggled & suffered, too (Hebrews 4:14-16).
- He wants to restore us (Jeremiah 29:4-14).
- He yearns to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:7-11).
- Suffering is not necessarily from sin (John 9:1-3).
- He doesn’t always say yes to our prayers or remove our suffering (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10).
- Yet, He is the Father of all compassion & comfort (2 Corinthians 1: 3-11).
Does prayer really work? Yes, my friend. Rest assured. It matters to God. It draws us to closer to Him and allows Him to meet us in the midst of our suffering and struggles. It reminds us of the depths of His love for us and our dependence on Him, even as we wait and as we yearn for His healing touch.
How, then, should we pray for ourselves and others? Stay tuned.
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