Listening to the Music

Have you ever danced to a song that you didn’t know? Or to music that you couldn’t quite hear? It’s like dancing blind, hoping you are moving in the right direction, trying to keep up with your partner’s steps, and anxiously anticipating what is next. You find yourself guessing instead of moving with confidence, and sometimes you get it right and sometimes you trip over your own feet. If you’re with a good partner, you can make it work for awhile. It can even be dizzying fun. Without the music, though, seldom will you be able to settle into rhythm and grace together, to discover the intimacy that brings the music alive and expresses it in new ways.

I’ve been learning to listen to the music. I’ve often joked that I’m rhythm-deaf, just as some people are tone-deaf. Sometimes I would rather tune out the music and just trust my partner to figure it out for me, to keep me on my feet, and to have a good time. It’s easier sometimes than slowing down and learning to listen for myself. Listening requires training my ear and then translating it to movement. It means that I have to know the song, and I have to know myself, trust myself, and I have to communicate with my partner.

Of course, I’m referring to more than dancing. As true as it is of me on the dance floor, when I don’t know the song, I have found it to be just as true of me in relationships. I need to learn to listen to the music for myself, to know the song that God is playing in my heart, and then to step boldly and confidently in the direction God is leading. And if we’re both dancing to the same song, then we begin to move in sync with each other. It becomes a beautiful thing.

It has been a month since M & I broke up. When I could finally hear the music myself, when we could finally share our different songs, then we realized we’ve been dancing to different tunes, that the rhythm and timing and fit was off, that it wasn’t just busy schedules that kept us apart. And it’s sad. When you find a good dance partner, you don’t want the music to ever stop.

There is also the joy, though, of hearing the music again and realizing it is quite a beautiful song that's been playing in the background all along. The moves come easier now because the movement is the expression of something deep within my soul, stirred by love and by the notes of the Master Musician. I step freely with new boldness and confidence in Him. And while I now find myself alone on the dance floor, I choose to dance and enjoy the music!