Remembering

Today, I remembered. I remembered what it was like that first year in Waco. I had clearly felt God calling me to Baylor and to Texas, but it felt like I had been banished or was in exile. I was so far away from everyone I knew and loved. My grandmother was sick and dying. I should have been with my family; I should have been with her. I felt uprooted from the community I had built in Columbia, the deep friendships and community I had there. Why would God send me here? The call still seemed clear. But I didn’t understand. I was drifting and alone and looking for something to hang on to.

In the midst of praying and questioning, I found a passage in Jeremiah 29, God’s word to the Israelites when they were in Babylon, far from home, sent by God, and they didn’t like it either. (Jeremiah 29:3-14) They wanted God to bring them home. And His answer was no, an emphatic no, a don’t believe anyone who tells you it may be a yes. In fact, His answer was to settle down, to put down roots, and invest in this place. They were going to be here for a while. And He told them to love it, to seek the good and prosperity of this place, to see the city’s welfare as connected to their own. God wasn’t abandoning them or forsaking them, though. His “no” was not that He didn’t care for them. Rather, He promised His faithfulness. He would be faithful to them there; He would grow them there. He had plans for them, plans for good and for their future. He would eventually bring them home, to gather them as His own, but they would have to wait on His timing and to trust in His faithfulness.

This passage spoke to me so deeply during that time in Waco. I actually starting reading it everyday and working on memorizing it. It’s a longer passage, so it took some effort to break down the verses and remember them. But the process led me to meditate on them, to pour over the words, to seek the heart of God and what He seemed to be saying to me in the midst of a hard transition and a new place, “Trust me, settle down, don’t be afraid to plant yourself here. I want you here for now. And even though it is hard, I haven’t forgotten you or abandoned you. I care about you. I have a greater plan. This is going to be good. I will be faithful. I will provide. Trust me.”

In the eight years since that hard move out to Texas alone, I had developed deep friendships and strong roots. I was now We, as Steven and I began our life together as husband and wife. And God was calling us to a new place, to leave the place we had come to call home, a community in which we had invested and loved deeply, a place that had been characterized by God’s consistent faithfulness and provision.

It was eleven months ago today, Steven started his job at CMS Imaging, and we made the decision to move to Oxford, Mississippi, a place far away from everyone we knew and loved. Yet, the call was clear. God had something for both of us here. We arrived just before Christmas, met by my parents who drove out to spend the holidays with us. When they left, it was just us, alone in a new place, hopeful for what God may have in store for us but also grieving the friends left behind and overwhelmed by the tremendous sense of loss we felt.

It was hard. God was faithful. It was lonely. God was with us. We were so unsure of this place – no Target or Bed Bath & Beyond? Confederate flags? Rebels and landsharks? God, why did you bring us here? What do you have for us?

Yet, the call was clear.

Stay. Wait. Plant yourselves. I will be faithful. Trust me.

Today, we left church and headed to one of our favorite restaurants. And in the car, Steven mentioned a passage. It immediately took my back to this passage from Jeremiah, and I read it with fresh eyes. I read it aloud to him. I told him the story of discovering the passage back then in Waco when things were really hard. Tears filled my eyes. And my heart was overwhelmed with emotion.

Not only can I see God’s faithfulness all throughout my time at Waco, all the ways that He was present and planted me and used it for good in my life and for His glory. I read it anew here in Oxford, experiencing again the hardships of transitioning to a new place and experiencing again God’s faithfulness every step of the way.

It would be easy to write out bullet points about God’s provision financially, how He has provided through Steven’s job and mine, to talk about our new house, and all the material blessings that God has brought in to our lives. We are grateful for those.

More importantly, though, God has been faithful in providing for us and sustaining us in our marriage, as we navigated starting over in a new place together. He blessed us with several friends and surrounded us with good co-workers. He led us to a church and continues to guide our steps. He has given both of us new opportunities to lead and to minister, to invest and to pour into others like we have had so many pour into us.

We feel called to this place (even when we are still unsure of it sometimes). And we are planting ourselves here for a while until God calls us elsewhere. We just bought a house here, and with it we are choosing to invest more deeply in this place, to see what God has for us here, and how we can be a part of His greater plan.

Lord, we trust you. Thank you for your faithfulness and your goodness. You are the One who does exceedingly more that we could think or imagine. Our hearts are full, with your faithfulness in the past, and full of hope and anticipation for what you have in store for us in the future.