Over the last several posts, I have been taking a harsh look at some of the haunting images of marriage that have disturbed me. As I seek to regain perspective on marriage as God intended for it to be - the marriage feast, the celebration of love & sacrifice, the metaphor for Christ and the church - I realized I needed to confront some of the brokenness I have witnessed in marriage and search for God's healing & His truth in the midst of that brokeness.
For Worse...
What does money have to do with marriage? Or the brokenness of marriage? Well, let me tell you some of the horror stories I have witnessed, or you can tune into Suze Orman anytime to hear more. She regularly features guests whose financial habits and decisions have jeopardized the trust and foundation of their relationships.
“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” Matthew 6:24. Money is a primary competitor to God in our lives…and in marriage.
Meet my friend Sally, married for several years. Without her knowledge, her husband maxed out their joint credit cards, leaving them with a pile of unmanageable debt and unruly bill collectors. The broken trust was just as painful as the financial fallout, if not worse.
Meet my friend Scott, whose marriage plans fell apart when his partner felt like money equaled love and pursued more and more stuff at the expense of their relationship and their future.
Meet my friend Wes, whose wife took financial advantage of him, leaving him with nothing of his own except more brokenness.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” – Psalm 127:1
I’m reminded of the story of Ananias and Sapphira – “Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. Then Peter said, “Ananias… You have not lied just to human beings but to God.” (For the full story, read Acts 5: 1-11)
“People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people eager for money have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” – 1 Timothy 6:9-10
For better...
What does a God-honoring marriage look like? One that honors God more than money, not one that lets money become a dividing force; one that builds mutual trust and respect, not one that values the material over the relationship; one that acknowledges God as the source of provision, not the paycheck; one that works together & prays together over finances, not one that isolates and deceives.
“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
In what ways have you or your partner, married or single, chosen relationship over money? If finances have been a stumbling block for you, what helped you to recover? In what ways has God revealed Himself as Jehovah Jirah, the God who provides?
Additional resources:
Financial Peace University - Dave Ramsey
Crown Financial Ministries
Suze Orman
The stories shared in this series are all true from people that I have in some way shared life with through the years. These are reflections based only on what I observed, from the vantage point of friendship. I have changed all the names to protect their identity.
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