For Better & For Worse - Moving Beyond the Worst

Over the last week, I have looked at some of the worst aspects of marriage, the brokenness and the hurt that is left in the aftermath of broken promises and abused trust. And I have only dealt with two topics – pornography and money. I haven’t even gotten to adultery and abuse, abandonment and apathy. I can introduce you to many more of my friends and their stories.

Like my friend Ellie, whose husband just decided one day that he didn’t want to be married anymore, or my friend Carol, whose husband left to “find himself.” Meet my friend Erika who found herself in an abusive relationship, characterized by fear instead of love. And meet my friend Andy whose wife constantly complains about him, or Steve who constantly complains about his wife. Meet my friend Leigh who has let years of bitterness and resentment build up between her and her husband, or my friend Danny who struggles to remember what he loves about his wife.

The truth is there are many evils that can take root in marriage, much bitterness, deep wrongs, and broken promises. Oh the promises – they sound so good on the wedding day…

I do solemnly take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.


…but oh, to live those promises out is much harder I’m afraid. To have a marriage where both spouses choose to love and to cherish each other, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of money or distractions, to commit to be with each other, to share life together as one for the rest of their lives – that is much harder. That’s a God-level commitment that we can’t make on our own.

We are flawed, imperfect people, and even when it is the last thing we want to do or intend to do, we inevitably let each other down. We fail. Sometimes we slip, and sometimes we utterly fall. But, praise God, He is a God of grace and a God who restores and redeems! He is a God who gives us strength and makes the impossible, possible in Him.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, and will bring you back from captivity.” – Jeremiah 29:11-14

As I ponder these promises from God’s word, I have hope, hope in spite of broken human promises, hope in the faithfulness of God, in the strength of God, in the sovereignty of God. Marriage is a promise before God, but it is ultimately a covenant with God.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, he who labors, labors in vain.” – Psalm 127:1

God, I am utterly incapable of loving as you loved. But as I seek you, may your love of me transform my life and this relationship. Enable me, us, to love each other as you have loved us, to be faithful and true, to be patient and kind, to act with integrity and intentionality, with gratitude and kindness. Let no bitterness or resentment set in, root out all apathy and complacency. Fill us with who you are and allow us to feast on your goodness in our marriage, day by day, from this day forward.