"I Just Never Got Around To It"

“I just never got around to it.”

Haunting words. I was talking to a coworker today, and she was telling me about her & husband’s decision not to have children, or rather their non-decision. They always thought they would have children, maybe next year, or in a couple of years, but, then they just never got around to it. The next thing they knew they were in their forties and then it just seemed like opportunity had passed them by. It wasn’t a decision they consciously made through the years, but one they made year by year when it was just never the right time.

As I was talking with my coworker, she was talking about having children, but I was instantly relating it to getting married. For me, I have just felt it was never the right time or the right relationship, and I enjoy being single. Sometimes I am scared of rocking the boat or scared of what I’ll give up, scared of making bad choices or ending up in a bad marriage. So it becomes too easy to be so okay being single that I get complacent. I just never get around to pursuing a family, seeking out a life partner that God may have for me.

Will I wake up one day and say the opportunity just passed me by? Will I say, “I just never got around to it?” I don’t want that to be true of me.

These last few weeks on this journey have been new for me. It has been refreshing to speak some of my fears out loud, to acknowledge them on paper, and to remember and celebrate God’s goodness in marriage, in the good and the bad. This time of reflection & prayer has challenged me to want marriage more and to be more intentional about seeking out God’s will and direction.

Those words I just wrote – I can’t believe I just wrote them. That’s an uber-vulnerable admission for me. I’m scared of acknowledging that. I don’t want to become discontent being single. And I don’t know if marriage is in my future. And I want the right relationship and the right person. And I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to go through divorce. And I don’t want to settle. Ugh! So many wants and desires and fears all bottled up together….Basically, I want to learn to trust God with my heart – to trust Him in whatever relationship I am in. I want to be free to love as He loves and to let love cast out fear. I want to trust Him and His goodness and be open to whatever He has in store. If that’s marriage, I want it to be a godly marriage that is centered in Him. If that’s not marriage, I can be okay with that too. I just don’t want it to be because “I just never got around to it.”

For my married friends, how did you "get around to marriage?" Did you seek it out intentionally? Or did you just meet the right person?

What do you think it looks like to pursue marriage without being discontent in singleness? Is this possible?