In my last post, How Defensive Driving Changed My Relationships at Work, I recounted the experience of getting my first ticket and resigning myself to taking a defensive driving class. I then outlined how God used the course to give me a look in the rearview mirror of my life. He opened my eyes through the course to a judgmental mindset determined to punish others for violating what I think they should or should not be doing. This mindset had begun to permeate my work, in which I had become increasingly stressed and frustrated, and had allowed seeds of bitterness and resentment to grow.
In terms of driving, the course recommended moving away from the "parent" mindset, one determined to punish others, to an "adult" mindset, one determined to solve problems and to take active responsibility to act in the good of all involved.
According to the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, drivers spend more than half of their time focused on things other than driving. As much as we would like to punish those who cut us off or tailgate us, we do not have that luxury. Instead, we have to adapt quickly whatever the situation around us to respond in ways that keep ourselves and others safe. Problem-solving is much more effective than punishment, especially in terms of avoiding collisions and arriving safely at our planned destination.
Hmmm… what if I brought that problem-solving mindset to work? What if I stopped focusing on punishing others who drop the ball or miss the mark in my mind? What if I set those judgments aside and let God’s love transform those relationships?
Over the last couple of months, I have been experimenting with that new mindset at work. Instead of seeing problems as their problems, I decided to view them as our problems so we could work together to solve them. Knowing there are times we all miss the mark (especially me), I left judgment in God's hands and found new grace both for myself and for my coworkers. I started to see the bitterness dissolve and love begin to take its place. I re-discovered the sense of common calling I share with others and the opportunity to work towards that calling together. I found the blessing of contributing my voice and gifts and the opportunity to celebrate the voice & gifts of others.
Long story short, work is transformationally different. God is at work, in and among us, steering us toward the collective work that He has called us to do. In a conversation with my boss, she commented that she has seen a drastic difference in me, night and day, in her mind. What made that difference? God did. And He used a ticket and a defensive driving course to do it!
"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
- Colossians 3:12-14
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law... Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."
- Galatians 5:22-23,26
"But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
- 1 Peter 5:15-17
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