Day 13 - Dating, Jobs, and Tattoos

Over the past several years, fear is one thing I have struggled with constantly in relationships. I am a self-confessed commitment-phobe, afraid of getting too close, of getting hurt, of hurting someone else. I’m also afraid of dating the wrong person or making poor decisions or just screwing up my life. And you know, the more I think about it, it’s true for a lot more of my life than just dating – it’s true of careers, and ministry, and buying a house, or getting a tattoo. Commitment terrifies me. I steer clear of signing on the dotted line as much as possible.

God is showing me, though, that I don’t have to be fearful in any of those situations. 1 John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. Perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love.” I read that and at first, I was taken back. Punishment is not what I am afraid of… but maybe it is…. I’m afraid of the consequences that might come, the failure, the hurt, the bad decisions. But I don’t have to be. God wants to perfect us in His love… it’s not that the consequences won’t necessarily come – it’s that I can trust God regardless of what happens.

I’m learning that I can trust God with my heart. I can be open and not fearful in relationships because I know that He cares and He will take care of me whether a relationship leads to heart-break or an incredible love unlike any that I’ve ever known. I can trust Him with my career, because I know that He will take care of me whether I am in the same job for 35 years or whether I am laid off tomorrow. I can trust Him with whatever comes, good or bad, because He is in control AND He cares. His grace is sufficient for me and His strength is perfect when my strength is gone.

I still worry sometimes about those decisions, but then I read 1 Timothy 1:7. “God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” When we walk with Him, He gives us the wisdom to make the right decisions, He gives us the power to live the life He has called us to live, and He has given us a love that is constant and true, even when all else fails.

We, I, don't have to be afraid of commitment. I can approach situations boldly, knowing that He has equipped me to make wise decisions, to commit to the right things. Even when I get off track or when things don't work out the way I have planned, He'll be there in the aftermath, comforting me and using it for my good. I don't have to be afraid of relationships; I have to use Godly wisdom when it comes to relationships. I don't have to know what job I will be at tomorrow, or next year, or five years from now; I have to know the one that is preparing me for the role He wants me to play. I don't have to fear; I can live abundantly in Him and in His power, trusting Him whatever tomorrow brings.

Perfect love does drive out fear.