My heart’s cry is to be a woman of integrity. I want to act honorably and sincerely in my relationships with other people, my work relationships, my dating relationships, my friendships. I want to be known as a woman of principle and a woman of my word. Sometimes, though, I miss the mark entirely.
The truth is, sometimes I don’t even know what integrity looks like. I don’t know what the right answer or right decision is. Sometimes I get lost in indecisiveness or just start drifting along with what feels right at the moment. One of my close friends had an honest conversation with me once about my patent unreliability and indecisiveness. Wow. That was hard to hear. But he was right, that’s not who I want to be.
“True freedom has more to do with following the North Star that with going whichever way the wind blows. Sometimes it seems like freedom is blowing with the winds of the day, but that kind of freedom is an illusion. It turns your boat in circles. Freedom is sailing toward your goals” (Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia)
There have been many times I have just drifted along; times I have been turned in circles, doing whatever fits at the moment, but not really getting anywhere. I don’t want that anymore. I want to be fixed on Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2) That is one of the reasons I am on this fast, to seek His will, to find clarity about the decisions that I need to make and who I need to be, in dating, in my career, in every aspect of my life. So many times, my life gets so busy with noise, that I forget to “be still and know He is God.”
As much as I want to be a woman of integrity, I can’t do that if I don’t know what it looks like. How can I be a woman of integrity if I don’t have a clear sense of the principles that I want to live by? How can I act with honor if I am constantly changing my mind? How can people trust my sincerity when it changes every day?
In the days and weeks ahead, I want to focus on discerning what integrity looks like. I have some ideas – noble character like Ruth, acting in love like 1 Corinthians 13, having true beauty that comes from within.
If you have suggestions for me as well, please share them. I welcome your comments and feedback. What does it means to act with integrity and honor? And how do we live it out when integrity is not always honored by those around us?
No comments:
Post a Comment